I could say a lot of things about this. Maybe comment on how the girl with no picture can’t take a hint, or how nobody is actually paying attention to what the guy said. But I believe the last post speaks for itself. I don’t know whether to laugh until I cry or just block her. My first Christmas present to you, the reader.
I’ve never been so stressed in all my life. At the beginning of my winter break, I was 100% confident that this next semester of college was going to be fantastic in every way because all the classes I chose were ones I wanted to take. Most of them won’t go towards my major, but since this is my chance in college, I’m taking every course I want so I don’t look back years later and realize how much I regret not doing it. It’s a little reckless, since I’m going to school on my own money and loans, but you only live once, right?
Speaking of loans, I turned in the form a day before fees were due and got a message from the financial aid department later that night (though I didn’t read it ’till morning) saying that I only qualified for $458 out of the $1500 I needed for tuition this semester (yeah, that doesn’t include books). I about pooped myself when I read that at work. While yes, I could’ve taken out unsubsidized loans, I’m avoiding it like the plague. I don’t need to accrue interest in college.
The good news is that I had money in my savings account specifically for paying off loans and I’m still enrolled. The bad news is that I’m poor now. So what about books? Haha, ahh… Books…
The bad news? I decided to take Psychology. In the school’s bookstore, it’s $100 dollars. My internet programming book? $87, Photography? $40. English II? I think that was around $80 too.
Luckily, one of my friends told me about this site called half.com. That Psych book? $35. Programming? ’bout $60. English? $30. The Photog book was about the same, so I just bought it from the bookstore. Either way, I saved a shit ton. Thank you, internet gods, for creating Ebay so that it could branch off with different companies such as half.com. Should any of you ever find yourself in a pinch like that, I recommend that site wholeheartedly.
You’ll notice I didn’t post anything for new years. That’s because I really didn’t DO anything for new years. I’d planned on going to a friends house and getting drunk with my significant other, but due to extenuating circumstances, we decided against it. So I spent my evening at home playing Warcraft. Yep. I’m one of those people.
Hard to believe it’s already the 21st of December. I could make a cliche reference to how time was so slow as a kid and so fast now that I’m an adult, but everybody knows that and phrasing it cleverly won’t make it any more awe-striking.
Still, the holidays are an interesting time. And by interesting, I mean they’re hell frozen over for anybody with a drivers license. SUV’s merging without looking, little grandmas running their carts into your new Corvette without so much as an “I’m sorry sonny.” Ironically, the season that’s supposed to be a celebration to the man who died for the sins of humanity is one of the most sinful times of the year. Gluttony from all the holiday food (sloth also comes into the picture here, considering how you don’t want to move after all that turkey), lust for that one special super expensive item you probably won’t get unless you throw a temper tantrum, wrath to the piece of shit who took that last thingamajigger that your child wanted, greed because you’d rather buy for yourself while the holiday deals are going strong (guilty of this myself), envy to your cousin who actually got what you wanted while you got socks, and vanity because, gee, don’t you look great in that holiday snuggy and Rudolph pajamas.
The irony is rather delicious, actually. The greatest part is, most people don’t know where the traditions come from. They chop it all up to the christian belief. In reality, the Christmas tree and yule log are from pagan tradition. So to all those Jews who throw a fuss over the lack of a menorah in a public place, suck on that. This is why we can’t have nice things (no, I’m not implying that all Jews are like that. Don’t put words in my mouth).
So how have my holidays gone so far? Amusing, to say the least. I stood in the Wal-Mart return line for about 20 minutes because my dear sweet grandmother wanted to return a small carton of butter worth less than two whole US dollars. There’s a story for the kids. “Lil’ Jim, did I ever tell you about the time I stood in a line longer than your father’s ass crack because my grandma was a penny pincher who thought returning bad butter would stick it to a nation-wide company? No? Well you pretty much just got the whole thing.”
After we spent an hour trying to swerve past crotchety geezers who scoffed when I said ‘excuse me’ to get around them (also called ‘grocery shopping’), I told grandma to get in the car so I could pack everything up in the trunk. As I’m about done, a fat guy in a little van pulls up and come s____ this close to pushing me and the cart into the car. I hold up my hands in fear, a clearly expressive ‘oh shit’ look on my face, and he appears shocked. His wife is smiling, of course. I guess they were trying to back up into a parking space so their fat little necks wouldn’t have to try and turn to see the mirrors for backing out.
Great fun. There were a couple more things, but I honestly can’t think of them at the moment.
Merry Christmas (yeah, I said it) and happy holidays, guys.
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