It’s been a weird summer. To say it’s disappointing is slightly off the mark, but to say it’s great is one hell of an over-exaggeration.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with money. The struggle is to keep it in my pocket. Half of it can be denoted to the fact that I’m just not working as many hours as I generally do during the summer. It’s nobody’s fault, just a sort of unfortunate happening. The other half is because something always pops up. Medicine, oil for the car, groceries here and there. Not big expenses, but they pile up. And as soon as I walk out of work with my paycheck in my hand, the winds of ‘little things’ comes and sweeps it out of my hands.
I know. I have no room for complaining. The fact is: I have a job, a home, and family that usually takes care of me. Believe me, I realize this. I appreciate everything that is done for me, the fact that I’m employed out of the kindness of my bosses’ hearts, and that when I come home, the roof over my head doesn’t leak.
But… It’s really been getting me down lately. The fact that I have to pinch every penny just to squeeze by. It used to be I’d pinch them because I wanted to. Because I wanted to save up for something nice. Now it’s a need. Once again, I know half of you are saying “WELCOME TO LIFE.”, but I feel like I should be doing MORE.
Lately, I’ve been regressing back to my high school days where I’ll sleep in ’till 12 on the days I have nothing to do, and it bothers the hell out of me. I set an alarm to wake up in the morning, but somehow manage to ignore/ sleep through it. I don’t LIKE that. I’ve realized that, while school and jobs are sometimes stressful, I NEED them to feel good about myself. To keep a healthy state of mind. To manage my time better (because right now all I’m doing is getting FATTER). But most of all, to keep myself SANE.
When I have nothing to do, I just SIT HERE at home and stare at my computer screen, doing nothing but frivolous BULLSHIT. I can’t motivate myself to write, I can’t motivate myself to read, and I can’t motivate myself to go out and do something PRODUCTIVE.
I. FEEL. LIKE. A. WASTE. OF. HUMAN. BEING.
Which is why I’m going to (try to) have a friend help me write up a brand-spankin’ new resume and start the job hunt ASAP. I’ve been saying I was going to do it for awhile, but right now I couldn’t be more serious.
POWER TO THE JOB SEARCH! I WILL BE THE NEXT ROCKAFELLA…THAT LIVES IN A TRAILER.
You may ask “why are you so adamant about typing in caps right now?” The answer is simple, my friend. I am tired, and caps keeps me in good spirits because it adds a scream to everything I say, and that’s hilarious.
On a side note, I think I might stop using hootsuite. For some reason it has trouble direct messaging people. 😐
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